2016

There has only been two pages written in the story that will be 2016! I hope that you are finding the confidence to keep the story going in the direction that your heart needs it to go.

I have to be completely honest, there is a portion of my story that I struggle with. My ex fiance and I have historically seen each other since my separation. The motivator behind that is that they have been a HUGE part of my daughters life. The person that I have co parented with since 2009. It has not been easy to seclude myself from them because my daughter still asks for them.

There is no ill feelings between us so that portion is fine, but the struggle is balance of boundaries. How much is too much, too little or is it appropriate to bring interaction to a complete and abrupt end? I can say that I have done my part to make sure that I do not send the wrong message with administering affection. But I think it can be difficult for them to accept that our current status renders it inappropriate to be around each other too much. When I first allowed them into my life - it was familiar and safe, then it was too much and we were right back to the same relationship that I just walked away from.

As we spent time together things came up that made it clear that we no longer really had anything in common. Our positions in life were different - our goals - polarized. We were officially on 2 different roads going in 2 different directions. It was also hard for me to stay in my calm and positive mind because I would allow myself to feel frustrated or angered as a reaction to a situation or choice that the other party would make.

Part of my process in the separation is to live in the truth and live in the now - So I know I will need to find the words to send a clearer more positive message for what will lie ahead for us. Its going to hurt, this kinds of things always do - but I think I will be respected more for being honest and clear - than to continue the dance that we always seem to do.

for now.


~daydreamer