Eyes

I am a firm believer that life is a series of unfortunate circumstances and minor victories. I look large scale........I am talking big. In the big picture everything is small. Hear me out on this one.

People say sometimes just waking up is a victory, well on your 75th birthday you would have woken up over 27,000 times. So that day that you got up when you thought you couldn't is just a fraction of the larger victory. I hope that makes sense as it did in my head.

Every heart break or failed relationship is a step closer to where you are actually meant to be. So after a few sleepless nights and several hours of tears - you are closer to the day where you find some one who makes everyone else in the world fade away. The person who challenges everything that you thought to be real. The person who helps you find answers instead of the one who creates excuses. This may not all makes sense just yet but, I will try to make it come full circle.

Too often people stay where they are comfortable and familiar instead of having the courage to find what is insanely right.

I may not have friends after this whole bloggy thing but they give me GREAT material.

And I apologize in advance if it seems like I am all over the place.

With out further a do........ A colleague discloses that they have been in a relationship for a good amount of time but that they feel as if their partner may have some company or companionship out side of the relationship. They say they have talked about it and addressed it but that it still has become an issue again.

I sat and pondered for a moment, my best response and or reaction to this. The unfortunate part is that I could relate to their partner. I have done it. I have allowed people to occupy space in my mind while in a committed relationship. I know for a fact that this is a lot more common that should really be, in healthy relationships. But to help my colleague I tried to explain why I used to do it, or why I had done it.

1. When you are not happy with yourself you actively seek attention and validation from the wrong places.
2. When there is something missing from a relationship we try to find it EVERYWHERE else.
3. When you have someones head and heart at the same time - those things tend not to happen.

So as eloquently as I could I explained from first hand experience what causes people to do this. Then I asked "What are you going to do?" She followed up with about 18 reasons why she should leave. and NOT ONE reason on why she should stay. But guess what she is going to do.......

Stay.

Too often people stay where they are comfortable and familiar instead of having the courage to find what is insanely right. (see how I did that there, I call that bringing it together!)

I asked more firmly, "So you are willing to accept that kind of behavior?" we may have bantered a bit about whether or not she is, in my opinion she is.....because she has made it ok for her partner to do this, there has been no consequence.

I reminded them that it is inconsiderate and inappropriate, when people conduct themselves like that - but that it will never change is reality does not kick in for the both of them. The part that tipped my can over was when she said that neither of them are all in ........................................................................................................................................................................

WHAT?

So what are you doing??!!

I couldn't even hear what she said after that because my mind was still blown.

So shenanigans like this flowing all over society, I come up with the theory that I do not believe in marriage - people ask me, why aren't you married? Because crap like this happens every single day. And even though I did it, I am smart enough to own and acknowledge that it is dead wrong because:

You should have enough courage and conviction to own what you deserve and know what you have to offer. So after a few sleepless nights and several hours of tears - you are closer to the day where you find some one who makes everyone else in the world fade away. The person who challenges everything that you thought to be real. The person who helps you find answers instead of the one who creates excuses.

Until I see the insanely right, my attitude on marriage stands. I don't really know where that came from but I will keep it.

People, if the person you are with allows someone else to own space in their minds, dump that HAG - get your mind right and the person who makes everyone else melt away - will fall into your world. Wear a helmet - it could be dangerous.

~daydreamer