Single People??!!

Philadelphia Can you HEAR ME??!!

I went on a SPLURGE trip to Philly on Memorial Day! What a GREAT time to go to a BEAUTIFUL CITY. First off the drive was really not that bad but, my Garmin knows I am a cheap ass and took me all toll free roads which I am pretty sure doubled my travel time. Could possibly be exaggerating lol.

I get to my hotel the HOTEL MONACO PHILADELPHIA which is a 10 star in my books from the moment I pulled up in front of valet to the time I loaded up and headed back home impeccable customer service.

My bell boy was actually from my hometown so he threw me the flour city and offered “vip” which we all got but HEY it feels good to hear.

My plan was to sleep for a couple hours when I got to the hotel because I woke up at 4 am to get ready for the drive! But I was so inspired and energized by the city that I threw my luggage in took a sponge bath changed my clothes and hit the pavement!!

I walked FOR HOURS. Ate dinner and hit the pavement again. Cities look different in the day and in the dark. No matter where you are….the time of day will influence your interpretation and experience.

What I will say is that single people do not exist. I guess the city of love is real. Single males…….nope…….Single females…….NEVER…. Lesbians were like trolls.

Hidden under bridges and camouflaged in straight bars and hang outs – leaving one bi sexual female like myself in the cold ALONE.

It wasn’t my objective to meet and hook up – but MEET for friggan SURE – I have been in one CITY my whole adult life socializing with the same pool of individuals as 600k other Western New Yorkers. I am ready to broaden the horizons – network amongst the 50 other states!

I was approached by your usual – beggars, observed a homeless man sleeping by a parking garage and astounded by the breathtaking architecture.

Some of the main roads in Philly are still the original cobble – which feels like driving on the surface of the moon – BUT really beautiful to see. It felt weird to take pictures of the row houses and brownstones because people actually live there and I would be annoyed is people walked around my neighborhood snapped pictures of my house. So I exercised restraint, but I found myself closing my eyes and imagining the servant quarters and carriages carrying city dwellers through the grid. 

There was a main door and then there was a tiny door near to the basement that was meant for the “help”. Early politicians and decision makers that created this country roamed the same streets that my gladiator sandal dawned feet stormed through like a true tourist. I walked the city from day to night – I listened to the changes in sounds that came at 1 in the afternoon and one in the morning. I tried to imagine Betsy Ross designing the American flag for our early troops and the signatures being laden on the constitution.

I loved the lack of chain restaurants and big boxed commercial retailers. Local economy to the 10 degree. True Culinary Masters and creative souls from the homeless to the millionaires.  

Philadelphians are Philadelphians – proud of the heritage and history held with in the cities limits and passionate about food, whiskey and freedom.

I recommend a trip, a regular visit or residential trek to Philadelphia Pennsylvania.

Pulse Check

So far off track – I had made so much progress – and yet I regressed lol. Like liquid movement I guess. Flowing in and out as does the ocean – reaching further and at times receding backward! 

I have gained half the weight I lost back…….thanks to my lack of dedication to the gym and over indulgence in sweets for my birthday.

Exactly no one to blame BUT myself. I guess I am just still learning – and I haven’t yet made it to the place where I am headed. So I push on. Further and further.

I have developed a theory that in order to not remain or become again the person of the past – that you must be cautious not to fall in the habits again of those days that you had thought you left behind…….. I think it can bring you right back to the first point in which you started.

When I first separated I had this surreal feeling of peace…….I was meditating, taking supplements, exercising lol …. I lived in the gym ahhhhh the good old days …….

Slowly I allowed myself to become complacent. Set aside my new healthier habits and picked up again my old ones.

   

So now, 10 lbs heavier and allowing myself in indulge in alcohol again…….face to floor.

Alcoholic or no?

I have no idea….One morning I will wake up and say YES you have a problem, one afternoon I will be like – NO you just ENJOY it and that is OK!

Who chooses when it is or isn’t a problem? Is there a magical percentage, amount, frequency anything that can tell whether or not it is a problem?

I can tell you I do close to nothing that I was doing last year and this time and everything I wasn’t. 180. I need to refocus, recenter, and reevaluate. I have come too far to go back again. 

<3 life is a process.

~daydreamer