Happy Birthday MOM!

The love of a mother

Her heart was never filled with fear

though thousands of miles apart

her spirit was always near

Through the good and the bad 

 times, memories and moments

even all the things in between

there she stood with open arms 

the love of a mother

her eyes still fill with tears 

even after all these years letting you go 

into this big scary world 

with every single good bye 

whispering .... why?

Why can't she stay, why can't I go

she should be with me - 

I love my baby girl, I love her so

There she stood with her heart outside of her body

every time her daughter walked away from her

her heart broke a little more

from the love of a mother.

For my mother, for her birthday - I will love you always - and thank you for life. XOXO
~day dreamer

..another year older

Here we are 2017! I have settled on a another year older and bolder. We are now almost 5 months into the new year and I am sure we will blink and then 2017 will be through. I have sunk myself deeply into my work and reclaiming sobriety after 9 months of playtime. So far so good even though some days are harder than others. I have to remind myself daily often that the healthier more vibrant me is worth more than the free spirited wild child that likes to show up after a few glasses of wine.

Have you met me? You think you have but I assure you there is so much more to know. There is pain and happiness - there is tears and smiles. I put all of my energy where it is needed most leaving me drained  usually by the end of the week. I like to hide away and recharge - finding a new project to get involved with and an outlet for my healing.

What are we up against as we roll through 2017:

Life
Money
Work
Health
Ex's
Interests
Children
Self Discovery
Home
Pets
Growth
Change

What you will notice right off the bat is that these things will carry over from year after year - what changes hopefully is our balance of these items. How effective are we managing them? How can we improve? What can be eliminated and or reduced. That is the state of euphoric zen most reach for and some are actually able to achieve.

Admittedly I have so much opportunity for growth and evolution in absolutely ALL of those areas and I am sure more that may just be slipping my mind after a full day but I am here aren't I - and so are YOU and this - yes THIS stands for something.

Wouldn't we love to work, not for a paycheck but for the difference that we make in our local and global communities? That it wasn't a necessity for existence but a responsibility we hold - for the good. Can you see a life where we don't have to pinch our pennies but are paid in gratuity. Affording the bare essentials and delightful luxuries. Waking up to a greater sense of self and worth based not on economic status or material accolades. A world where EVERYONE has a home, God, a girl could dream - fueled on exhaustion and malnutrition from not eating dinner YET! Being 7:45 I might just call it good - eh. Dinner shminner. How about if our interests were interested? lol If conversation wasn't a marriage proposal or invitation for sexual conquests. Can we not just find people INTERESTING with out it being like "omg, she has a kid - parenting is contagious" "she def wants the V or the D" "Im old enough to be your parent but I would like to touch your butt" "I wonder if she would like my wife"

Jeez. That was a bit of a rant. I'm sorry but its a legit question right?!  This is my life people lol. I can not make it up.